Yesterday I cut off most of my hair, with the remainder of my hair in the center-front of my head. It was a decision I’ve been contemplating for a while, and being frustrated with my hair-again, the best way for me to deal with it has always been to cut it.
Most woman who’ve never cut their hair past their jaw line, don’t understand the liberation and the freedom that comes with short hair. It’s the feeling of letting go, and of gaining control. When I decided to cut my hair in 2012, it’s not because it was damaged or not beautiful; but because I was entering a new stage in my life.
Newly college grad, not working in the field of my choice-my hair like my life, began to feel like a burden. I was emotionally heavy, and in July when I cut my hair for the first time; it was a step I took to take control of my life. How does hair have that much power, one might ask. Being black, and a woman, hair has so much to do with how we view ourselves.
Black women battle with imagery everyday especially when it comes to hair-just go to any hair salon within the black community on a Saturday morning. Packed with woman of all ages, the hair salon has become a beacon for women to unload, wash out the filth and build up from the week, straighten out the frustrations, and blow out tensions that made them feel useless-to then walk out a queen with a fresh dooby wrap sitting on her head like a crown.
My hair gave me that power too, until I realized the power doesn’t lie within my hair but within me. With understanding that power, lately, I’ve began to grow frustrated with the maintenance of having relaxed short hair. At times when I couldn’t get it done I felt unpretty, less confident, and not myself. Thus the reason of the “bigger chop.”
The biggest chop, which is to cut off all of my hair, is intimidating for me. One of the many reasons I’m in between stages of my journey ,is I still have a lot of growing to do. Hair is like a blanket, when u remove it, it reveals who you are.
Some rely on their hair for their beauty, but having no hair; you have to find beauty in your self. Finding the confidence and assurance in yourself to know that you’d be beautiful any way. I know I’m beautiful. I’ve always had hair. Having no hair challenges me in that way.
I’m a very confident woman, and certain things often challenges that. I’ve decided my hair won’t be one of them. I have 99 problems but my hair ain’t one.